CGBlogs

Daily writing prompt

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

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if i had to pick one thing; i wouldn’t choose to change a facial feature or my body shape. it would be the way i overthink. i don’t know how it started but for as long as i can remember i overthink interactions, facial expressions, etc. you’d think that the security of my friendships would stop me from overthinking so much. but no. it honestly makes it worse. i will think about the face you made to me while walking past me for weeks. i will think about the stranger at the mall that looked at me up and down for hours after it happened. if you leave me on read or open, i will overthink that and wonder if i did something to upset you. i hate that i do this because i don’t want pity from people, i just want the thoughts to silence. i want to be able to an enjoy an interaction without wondering if my best friends secretly hate me. it is such a big part of my life that it’s classified as one of my moods. i just have to tell my friends, “i’m just in that mood right now” and they know. they don’t REALLY know though. the thoughts swarming my head and wondering if i would be better off just staying in my room all the time to spare myself the work. this post is merely another overthinking post. i have been overthinking so much lately i have to get it out there. there isn’t much you can do when i’m like this besides reassuring me that the thoughts aren’t true (my brain will still convince me that you do hate me). i wanted to write about this because it’s such a big part of my life that even though i hate that i overthink, its part of my personality, and that is what comes with being my friend.